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I am by nature a Luddite. I'm the kind of person who reads Thoreau's Walden and can't stop saying "Amen." I like things simple. Yet, my creative ambitions repeatedly draw me deeper into the tech-complexity that characterizes contemporary life. And since I am currently in the process of composing a catalog of recent works for the Birds Fly In: A Human Refuge art installation project, and high quality printing requires high-res images, I've realized my iPhone simply won't do the job. A new camera is in order! 

A bit of history: I obtained my first camera by collecting my parent's empty cigarette packs (forcing them to smoke Marlboros instead of Old Gold for several weeks) and redeeming them for an easy-to-use Instamatic. All you had to do was plop a film cartridge in the back of the camera, and then point and shoot. Easy-peasy! A ten year old could do it and I did!

It's been downhill from there. From a more sophisticated SLR requiring hand-threading of film spools to cameras with memory cards, I've always been challenged to learn from a confusing manual how to use the camera. Truly, one reason I don't sell prints of my works is that, for me, it's much easier to paint a picture than to photograph one. As you can see from the equipment stacked on my studio coffee table, I'm about to embark on a task I'd much rather avoid.

Typically, I'd rely on my tech supportive husband, but he has a lot on his plate at the moment and I'm eager to get on with it. I've decided, then, to let Roo off the hook and take on the beast myself and see what I can do. I love Roethke's lines: "I wake from sleep and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I need to go." When it comes to technology, you can hear me snoring from a mile away; I am, however, willing to walk as far as I can to master this new machine.

My first step has been to write my intention on a list in my journal this morning. The bullet point reads: "Study camera." Step Two was to open the box and take everything out. (Putting hands on everything is my way of making friends with the different parts. Seeing the thick user's manual took my breath away, so I stuffed it where I couldn't see it for a few minutes; opening it now I see it's written in several languages, so it's not really as thick as I thought.) Step Three is to use my cell phone to take a picture of the mess of stuff and, well, to procrastinate by writing a blog instead of reading that manual .... You get the idea! Eventually, I will tire of this and, remembering my commitment to Birds Fly In (see image below), begin to master the task at hand by actually opening up all those boxes. I'm so glad I wrote it down! And, I'll keep you posted.

Last night the Birds Fly In music collaborator, David Mendoza, sent me the title for a piece he's working on called "Flying Free to Love." I used his words as a sort of mantra as I drifted off to sleep. I woke up feeling in love with life. Now, if you'll look closely at my pile of camera stuff, you'll see a small card. Whenever I need to bolster my inner support system, I reach into the box of Angel Cards I keep close at hand. The one I pulled at random this morning reads "Love." I'm guessing that, indeed, Love will once again, guide me through my resistance to learning something new, Something More. Glory be!

Thanks for reading and helping me be accountable to my project! May your resistance always be futile, resolve sooner rather than later, and, always, in the fullness of Time!

With Love,

Ellie