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My Dear Art Friends,

I've excerpted here the first draft Introduction to a new book with the working title Painting Expressively: An Intuitive Approach. I'm sharing it here in gratitude to everyone who has ever stopped in to look at my work and been inspired. By the way, since I didn't go to Mexico, the Studio & Gallery is OPEN and you're welcome to visit! If you have an anecdote to share related to a visit to my art space, please leave it in the Comment section below (or send it to me privately by email).

Yours truly,

Ellie

P.S. Thanks for your sweet thoughts for me about Spotty, who is sleeping a lot but still with good appetite.

Introduction to Painting Expressively: An Intuitive Approach.

Ellie Harold Art Studio & Gallery, located in a renovated 1895 Victorian home in the small city of Frankfort, Michigan, is open to the public. In a typical year, a few hundred visitors will stop in to look at my art. Sometimes people hesitate, fearing they are invading my private space; however, I assure them, this is my preferred way of showing and selling my paintings. I enjoy the direct contact with the people are interested in my work. And, this method also gives me the opportunity to meet with and inspire other artists, as well as those might like to paint but don’t think they can.

Over the years I’ve learned there are quite a few people who would like to make art but, for one reason or another, have avoided doing so. Not infrequently, a studio visitor will comment, “You are so talented!” Then, disheartened, “I wish I could paint.” I typically respond, “Have you ever tried?” and invariably I hear this: “Oh no! I can’t even draw a stick figure.”

I hear this and “I couldn’t draw a straight line if you asked me!” so often, it’s like they are reading from a script. Clearly, this is a widely held belief! Yet, the truth is, stick figure drawing is not a prerequisite for painting and, using a ruler, anyone can draw a straight line. Yet almost every wistful visitor with whom I have this conversation mentions their failure to master stick figures and straight lines as the reason they haven’t pursued their desire to paint.

Many people, it seems, dismiss their desire to make art because they assume a person must demonstrate the particular talent of a Real Artist—stick figures and straight lines, apparently— before they are entitled to pick up a paintbrush. If they believe they don’t possess the magical gift, they won’t even try. “Why bother?” their body language tells me.

I know that feeling. Before I began to paint in my early 50s, I was convinced that I had no talent and it would be waste of time and money to even try. Then, following a definite inner nudge, I came to realize I could and should do art. Now, almost 20 years and more than a thousand paintings later, it seems ridiculous that I would ever have doubted my artistic ability.

Back in 2003, however, I’d received a “call” to make art. I had very little idea how to get started. Recalling an oil painting class I’d started (and quit after 3 weeks) in 1981, I bought some basic art supplies and a slim guide to oil painting (Barron’s Art Handbooks: OILS). The materials I purchased sat untouched in a corner of an indoor porch and, from time to time, I’d pick up the book and puzzle over the different techniques it surveyed. After 6 months, attracted by the color of a patch of flowers in my garden, I finally began to put the supplies or the information to use.

Once I did, however, I rarely stopped. I progressed from making many 5” x 7” paintings of pears, through a longish period of outdoor painting, to the creation of more and much larger abstract pieces (60” x 72”). The unexpected arrival of birds in my paintings in 2016, led to a major art installation (BIRDS FLY IN: A Human Refuge) in which to share them, as well as exhibits in the U.S. Embassy in Slovakia, and several large hospitals in Michigan. Hundreds of my oil paintings have permanent homes in private homes and several in public collections.  

Even though my work is now widely collected, I am rarely 100% confident about my art-making; however, this doesn’t keep me from painting. I’ve come to realize I have within me what I call an Inner Artist, so I don’t have to feel confident in order to paint—I just have to do it! Experience has taught me that no matter how insecure or resistant I might feel, each time I stand in front of an easel, paint inevitably finds its way onto the canvas.  My Inner Artist is on the job; and while she works, I feel as if I’m being used as a vehicle for expression for something that is me, but also more than me. I’m often amazed by what happens when I paint and I don’t always understand my paintings or even like them. Most have a Presence, however, that engages me and, sometimes, others. 

I believe each person has their own Inner Artist. It takes some effort, however, before to realize this. Until this realization occurs and an individual chooses to activate it, this talent remains latent. The effort required to activate the Inner Artist may be nothing more than opening a book such as this one and employing some simple guidance. Only time will accurately tell if the art I’ve made is historically significant, but I don’t worry about that. The most important thing to me is that I clearly had not realized what was inside me just waiting to get out. Without venturing to try, I might never have found out.

I want Painting Expressively: An Intuitive Approach to give your Inner Artist permission to freely express itself through you. While the principles embodied in this book will work for any creative endeavor, since you picked up this book, there’s a very good likelihood that your Inner Artist might be inclined toward painting—and probably not the sort you could learn in a traditional painting instruction class. Chances are your Inner Artist is eager to paint expressively!

This book shows you some simple but effective ways to start the process—even if you’ve never held a brush in your hand before and using a few basic supplies. The text will encourage you to explore your unique art process while the exercises prompt you to discover the marks, colors, shapes, and textures that most uniquely express you. For those who haven’t been to art school, don’t know how to talk art-speak, and haven’t ever painted something that “looks like something,” the intuitive approach to painting I describe in this book will give you permission to begin painting, show you a kind of painting that bypasses your preconceived notions about art, and empower you to make are that is uniquely original to you.

Intuitive painting is not for novices only, however. If you do happen to have an academic art education, your training may have inadvertently prevented you from activating your Inner Artist. Because you’re well versed in art history and theories, you might believe you already know what your art is about and who you are as an artist. However, it may also be the case that your unique voice or style has been cramped by intellectual concepts, traditional practices, or other so-called art world forces. If you feel stuck in your practice or your work seems stale, loosening up with the exercises in this guide may transform more than your painting style. Your Inner Artist, it seems, is not only interested in how you make art, but also the rest of your life; and, as you expand beyond creative blocks, you may be inspired to create a larger vision for your art and your life.

 Painting Expressively: An Intuitive Approach is organized in three parts. The first briefly outlines why an intuitive approach to art-making is key in making original, meaningful, good art. The second part suggest ways to activating the Inner Artist, as well as assignments or exercises for intuitive painting. It also deals with troubleshooting psychological defenses that may prevent the fullest expression of artistic potential. The final chapters offer resources for supporting an intuitive approach to painting or other art forms.

Whether you’re reading this book as a novice or practiced artist, I hope you will receive in these pages the permission you seek to give expression to your unique artistic potential. Imagine the exercises as clues to satisfying the longing of your Inner Artist to express something beautiful through you. I hope you’ll enjoy the pleasure that comes of serving the best and highest good of all who will come in contact with your art—even if turns out to be a stick figure.

(c) 2022 Ellie Harold. All rights reserved.

"Nothing is more powerful as an idea whose time has come.”

Victor Hugo

Silly me! I first of all titled this post “Resisting a BIG Idea.” Then, I changed it to “The Futility of Resisting a BIG Idea.” Then, almost immediately, “BIG Ideas & What to Do with Them” and “My BIG Idea.” But looking at those words on the screen, I had to chuckle. I can’t do anything with or to a really BIG Idea; It has a life of its own and, as it may happen, will more like do something to me, than I to It. To any ego-possessed human—and aren’t we all?—this can be a cause for a certain amount of anxiety. Looking back at various encounters I’ve had with life-changing ideas, it’s rarely been my inclination to give over to one without a fight.

When in the early 1980s I received an unmistakably clear calling to ministry, I was like Jonah who when, God dispatched him to Nineveh, went in the exact opposite direction. Famously, Jonah ended up in the belly of a whale who spat him out in the direction he’d originally been told to go. My version of this story involved the weeks-long folly of a fraught road trip. On Easter Sunday, I left Missoula, MT where I’d lived for several years, directly into a blizzard, across the mountains and onto the whited-out plains of Wyoming in a heatless VW Bug, finally ending up in sweltering Florida where, over Memorial Day weekend, I experienced three car accidents in as many days and totally smushed the Bug. After a timely rescue by my mother—an invitation to spend the summer in her newly acquired cottage on Martha’s Vineyard—I eventually returned to Missoula. There, I said Yes to the changes my life held in store and the rest is, as they say, herstory.

Looking back, however, I see how I could have continued to ignore the truth I’d discovered about myself. I might not have gone back to Montana, refused to enroll in seminary—What me? A Minister? Are you kidding?—and my life would have unfolded quite differently. (Imagine a world without The Clergygirl!) Would saying No have made my life easier? At the time, at least, my resistance to the idea of a larger life seemed to bring me nothing but trouble, so probably not. If “nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come,” resisting a BIG Idea can wear you out!

Having had the experience of such profound and painful resistance, I eventually learned to find my Yes more easily. By the time in 2002 that I was “called” on 3 sleepless nights to make art, I offered none at all. I didn’t know why or how or what this meant, but I was willing to get ready and see what happened. Twenty years later, I can see that this attitude led to the unfolding of what constituted a gentle shift into a new, unexpected career and an expanding experience of life that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.

That larger life as an artist has included the very BIG Idea that in February,2017 surprised me while I sat in gridlocked traffic on Atlanta’s 1-75/85 Connector. Again, I didn’t understand the full implication of saying Yes to the inspiration for what eventually manifested as the art installation BIRDS FLY IN: A Human Refuge. The flight of “my” birds has certainly challenged me—for example, I’d never expected to produce a CD album—and it continues to do so. I’ve learned so much about what it means to give time, talent, and treasure; in return, I’ve been rewarded with much pleasure and such unanticipated joy. My cup runneth over!

Now, however, I find myself on the cusp of another round of choices regarding the project—whether or not to take the exhibit to Mexico. So far, there’s definite interest but little tangible support for this ambitious, potentially expensive undertaking. I’m feeling rather daunted, without energy for the work that I imagine lies ahead. In light of this, I find myself wondering: Has the time for this BIG Idea has actually passed? Or is there Something More for me to give that I’m resisting? And, if so, what? Sitting with these questions, one thing seems clear: I cannot make BIRDS do more than the Idea (or God) wants It to do. So, in this space of uncertainty, I’m simply trying to pay attention to my intuition.

I watch thoughts parade into my awareness: I notice that my ego wants to hurry things along by insisting that I should already know answers I don’t. Or that I should work harder even when I don’t know what do. (I’m exhausted just trying to imagine this.) Ego also believes decisions regarding BIRDS FLY IN should be guided by considerations of right/wrong and should/ought. Certainly, I muse, a project promoting freedom wouldn’t propose my own confinement within such limiting beliefs, would it?

In my spiritual experience, I’ve realized that 1) timing is everything and 2) finding Yes does not involve the rigid mental or moral gyrations in which ego apparently claims much satisfaction. Finding Yes in the form of one’s inner, intuitive truth can be much simpler.

My teacher Marvin Anderson used to say our true direction is best revealed by doing “the next right thing.” Unlike “the only right thing,” this one-step-at-a-time approach comes about as a response to gentle urging or that something wants to happen. And when we go along with these intuitive nudges, small actions proceed to produce a desirable outcome. When we don’t follow these prompts, there’s no penalty as such. Getting our own way is not wrong; it simply acts as a diversion and may delay our receiving a benefit that would be available if we let go our agenda.  It remains forever an option to postpone whatever good the BIG Idea has come to bring us until such time when we realize it’s safe and desirable we’re to accept the as yet unknown good that awaits us.

Applying this method to my art-making I’ve have discovered this truth: There are no mistakes! In painting I have come to greatly value how the “happy accident”—the color I didn’t intend to use, the composition that didn’t come off as planned—contributes to a more beautiful painting—one far more original and interesting than the one I’d consciously aimed for. Wiping out or otherwise trying to correct a mistake almost always results in an overworked painting that doesn’t work at all!

So, too, perhaps in life. I’m told a BIG Idea, like a tree, contains within it the seeds of its own unfolding. At a certain point, just as a tree matures and no longer needs the tending necessary for a sapling, a BIG Idea can be left alone to do its own thing, smoothly and without undue effort. In the case of my project, I’ve believed that I must push BIRDS out of it nest to make it fly further to reach (and save) the world. But what if it turns out that BIRDS FLY IN—with exposure to at least 8,000 people—has already planted its seeds, already done what It came here to do? What if those seeds simply need time to grow?  

Writing this, I understand that while I’m stilling willing to fly on with BIRDS FLY IN, I may not be required for active duty and may have earned, instead, “on call” status. In practical terms this may mean I can let off running the Universe—at least for the time being—and continue to do the next right thing, even if it means, as Marvin suggested, this is feeding the cat. Speaking of which, Spotty insists its time for his next meal.

On Monday, with as much humility as I can muster, I plan to travel to San Miguel de Allende to see what –if anything—is next for BIRDS. At the very least, I’ll get to go to my favorite yoga class and eat some great food!

With many thanks for your interest and support, I say Yes to the Good God has in store for me.

Ellie

Note: After writing this last week, I decided to let go and let God a bit more. With a sense of spaciousness and relief, I postponed the exhibit in Mexico for a year and canceled my trip to San Miguel. As life would have it, this week my ancient, almost 20, kitty now seems to be on his last legs and I’m very glad to be home with my little lovey guy to help him with whatever come next.

My Dear Art Friends,

I'm very pleased to introduce you to This Rebirthing: Coming Alive Painting with Oils.

I've known the author, Sharon Mick McAuley, in several contexts since moving to northern Michigan about 10 years ago. We first met when she signed up for one of my summer painting workshops. Later, when she returned for more instruction, I learned that, like me, Sharon is an ordained minister, an experienced group facilitator, and (unlike me) an accomplished poet. When BIRDS FLY IN: A Human Refuge needed some poet collaborators, Sharon immediately came to mind; several of her ekphrastic poems are part of the permanent installation and published in the Exhibition Catalogue.

Richard Moss, one of my mentors, once told me: “A Teacher receives by giving; a Student gives by receiving.” When Sharon Mick McAuley first came to me for instruction, I knew from my own experience how challenging it can be to assume the role of Student with a Teacher who is many regards your peer. And, for me, it’s somewhat challenging to play Teacher to a Student with many gifts and talents. Sharon, however, was not experienced painting with oils—watercolor was her medium—so perhaps I could show her a thing or two.

I'm a big fan of oil paint and use it freely in my artmaking. People who are interested in my workshops often say they want to paint with the kind of freedom they see in my work. In response, I attempt to lead artists to their version of the freedom they seek and, it’s often the case, the workshop invites individuals to face fears of one kind or another.

In this context, to be a Student of the Teaching that comes through me often means hearing my observations—welcome or not—about what might be holding them back in their artmaking. For example, the fear of looser, larger expression often shows up as various excuses about why this can’t happen. Not coincidentally, these typically “reasonable reasons” hold individuals back in other areas of life as well. Art demands we stretch beyond what seems reasonable to enter the realm of an extraordinary Unknown. Quoting one of my own teachers, I tell my workshop participants, “Transformation is an unreasonable request.”  

I welcome people of many different levels of artmaking experience (or none) into my workshops because you never know who will be inspired to Something More. When I address art and life conjunctions, some walk away scratching their heads. Artists who take their work seriously, however, also value the creative challenges offered by life itself. And Sharon struck me as one of the latter.  She had already worked with me a few times when she signed up for the workshop I called "What's Your BIG Idea?”

"What's Your BIG Idea?” centered around this quote: “Make no small plans for they have not the power to move the soul.” Over the course of the 4-day workshop, Sharon and the others in the group formulated what might be a Big Idea project. Then on the last day, I asked each of them to identify what they saw as potential obstacles to committing to their BIG Idea. One by one, the participants offered up their beliefs (disguised as practical concerns) about why they couldn’t accomplish the BIG Idea they’d come up with: “It costs too much.” “I don’t have the time.” I don’t have the room.” And, the one that tugs hardest: “My family needs me.”

How easily we succumb to thoughts like these! Yet, when threatened with expanding possibilities, our egos expertly generate an abundance of convincing and limiting reasons (excuses) for why we shouldn’t pursue them. Belief that these thoughts are true seem so real, but are they really? Things we believe may have seemed necessary when adopted at an earlier stage in life; however, seen with new eyes, we may realize these thoughts are actually ripe for revision (and often release) in the present moment. Still, we so often hesitate to see them anew and, with our beliefs intact, keep ourselves from the expansion we long to experience.

As Teacher, my job is to show Students how our perfectly justified ways of thinking may not accurately reflect current reality. Depending on the openness of the Student and how skillfully it’s done by a Teacher, this can be a moment of breakthrough or breakdown. As it happened in this workshop, Sharon took exception with my belief-poking query about whether the reason she gave for not being able to proceed with her BIG Idea was absolutely true.

Understandably, Sharon didn’t take well to my implication that she had choice in the matter. (I’d been in her shoes in similar situations; no one’s ego enjoys being told to get out of the way!) As the workshop ended, it appeared she was still angry and I wondered if we remain friends. I questioned myself about whether I’d poked too hard to make a point, however, my reflections kept circling back to an unshakeable intuition that Something More was emerging for Sharon in her art and in her life and I let go of my concerns.

Two weeks later, I received word that her husband Frank had died suddenly and unexpectedly.

The breakdown occurring with tremendous loss often precedes a breakthrough for Spirit that may happen later. I cannot recall specifically what Sharon had proposed as a project in the BIG Idea workshop, however, in the weeks, months, and years following that workshop, it appears her reservations fell away and something latent in her broke through. As her book reveals, she dug deep into her soul to process not only her personal loss but to explore her ongoing life as an artist. Out of this rich compost, a truly Big Idea emerged, taking artistic form in Sharon’s beautiful images and sensitive words.

When a Student and Teacher find one another, it’s a sacred encounter. Before Sharon gave me a copy of This Rebirthing, she warned that I’d see some reference to me in its pages. I did not foresee, however, my name on the dedication page and I was moved to tears. I believe her book speaks less, however, of any instruction I provided and is more a testament to Sharon’s willingness and courage to learn the lessons Life offers. Well done, Sharon. Thank you for receiving; thank you for allowing me to give!

If you are one who struggles with a tendency to hold back in life or art, I suggest you get hold of a copy of This Rebirthing: Coming Alive Painting with Oils. Let yourself be nourished by the artwork (oils, applied by hand) and inspired words. Let yourself be encouraged by the example of one who broke through her limiting beliefs to give a beautiful gift to the world. Read it and weep healing tears.

In Awe of the Tenacity of the Ever-Emerging Inner Artist,

Ellie